What is a Mommy?
Someone who is always forgiving. Someone in which whom you know that you can always rely on. Mommy will always come back, and Mommy will never leave for long. A mommy always wants the best for their child, and will always put a child first in any circumstance. A mommy is a child's best friend. A mommy is an extraordinary person. It is a tough job to be a mommy, a job that only a mommy could ever handle. You can never break the bond between a child and a mommy, and a mommy can never be replaced. Mommy is another word for love. God couldn't be everywhere, so he created Mommies.
Interested if I'm the only mommy who isn't willing to share the title of mommy after adoption.
This wasn't an object or even a thought when discussing adoption, although shortly after the adoption it was addressed. During a visit I was referred to as Marissa time after time, and the biological parent was calling her self mommy. It was hurtful to me, very uncomfortable to say the least. The visit couldn't have ended fast enough, I was busting at the seams and praying the entire time to give me wisdom, as well as to keep my mouth shut. Continuous prayer on the way home, I eventually had the words, I was mommy no one else. This title will be reserved for me.
A few adoptive parents take pride in sharing this title, I try to understand their perspective, reality is I don't share their desire. For weeks I have thought something was wrong with me, am I selfish, insecure, bitter, jealous, I'm not sure the reason I get heartbroken if someone refers the bio as mom. Possibly it's all of the above. I would love to have carried Joshua, felt him kick, gave birth to him, but honestly none of that makes me his mommy.
I'm Joshua's mommy not just because I legally adopted him (but that is one reason as well, legally I'm his mommy), I'm his mommy because I'm the one he wants in the middle of the night, when he is sick, who kisses his owies, who snuggles him all night, who feeds him first, who comforted him while weening from opiates, who shows him unconditional love, and who devotes her life to him.
I missed a few things in Joshua's little life, but I certainly have gained much more than giving birth to him. I'm mommy now, later, and forever.
With this being said, there is a woman who gave him life, who also loves him. This woman is his birth mom, she deserves a special title too. Joshua can give her what name is best for him, so for now she is S.
