When I can't, He can

In the last few years I have intently reflected on God's calling for my life. At times it feels as if I'm not doing nearly enough to fulfill God's great plan. Yet, do I even know His plan? 

Over the last two weeks God's calling has become quite clear, and those in my life have been strategically placed by my God. 

Starting with Tavis and Tharrin, they have taught me a lot over the years, and they have shaped me into the mother that I am today. Both of those boys have amazed me more than they may ever know. Being proud of them has been so easy, loving them is effortless. I've always said that God blessed me with the best boys, and I certainly don't deserve them. God gave me my boys as part of His plan, as well as used them as a tool to prepare me for His next calling.

Not only being their mother is my will, but being Joshua's mommy is as well. Never would I have thought how vital my part in Joshua's life would be until recently. I will not only be his mom, I'm his nurse, advocate, and teacher. God knew I would take this role very serious, and He will equip me to do so. "equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen" Hebrews 13:21

Our most recent finding of Joshua's health has taken me down a path I didn't feel strong enough to tackle, until God gave me the strength and ability to face it head on. He not only will guide me to do this, He has provided the perfect partner to walk with me. My sweet husband is walking this journey with me every step of the way. He gives me a positive outlook when I am unsure and hurting for our baby boy. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power to the weak." Isaiah 40:29

Today I am thanking God for our struggles and praising Him for what is to come, because when I can't, He can!!!!!

 

No Words

On Jun 30th I took my baby boy to Children's to get a blood test, I wasn't overly worried rather anxious to get it over with. The week passed with no word of his results, no news is good news, right? Than Monday July 6th he had his 18 month check-up, not expecting an eventful appointment we made plans to visit family afterward. All of those plans changed instantly when Dr. Wight shared the results with me. 

She pulled a paper out that changed our lives, he has HCV. Immediately I dropped my head and began crying. My perfect baby has this deadly virus in his little body. He has been through enough, he just needs to catch a break. I was mad, I was scared, and I tried to rationalize the news. I should have known, he has an immature immune system, did he really stand a chance to resolve the virus on his own. We were off to the hospital; more blood work. Once again we had to wait another week for results.

Just a few days later on a Friday morning I received the call. My precious son, my world, he certainly has HCV. More importantly his viral load is over 12 million. This is horribly scary news, what does this mean, what is viral load, what should it be. My mind went blank and my breath left my body. His doctor continued to talk and share further results, I honestly couldn't repeat what she said. I was crying, something that I have done a lot lately. She had made him an appointment at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital.  

No child should have to go through this, no family should have to go through this. Something that was preventable is now our reality. We are now in a fight for his life. The first few days we cried nonstop, then it was time to get to work and learn about this disease. At moments we felt hope, other times were grime. You better believe we learned a lot those first few days, we are now semi prepared for HCV.  

Joshua will have a consultation with a Hepatologist on July 29th, we fully expect to be sent to the lab the first day for further testing. I can only assume they will be testing to see what genotype he has. We are praying that he does NOT have genotype 1. A high viral load and genotype 1 make treatment less successful. The higher the VL the harder to treat, plus genotype 1 is the least resistant to treatment. We don't want them paired together. 

We should have a small plan in place after our consultation. The next appointment is more than likely a liver biopsy. The only true test to check his liver health is a biopsy, this will land us in Nashville for a few days due to recovery. Once those results are back we will know exactly how she can treat him. Everything I have read states the FDA will not approve treatment until 3 yrs old. 

Once treatments begin we will be traveling to Vanderbilt each week for up to a year. Our hope is that he can start treatments as soon as possible. 

Now we just wait.............. We pray..........We love on him........ We continue forward.......